Dear Car Guy

Yep it’s me again!

We’ve been having some wonderful winter weather out here in the Pacific Northwest, and the news keeps talking about how it’s cold everywhere except Florida, so this letter is for all of you, but particularly for any of you who aren’t living it up in Florida!

I want to talk to you about winter drivers. Some are smart, seasoned, and well equipped for whatever the mountains, plains, or weather systems should throw their way. Some are NOT. Here is a heads up about whom to AVOID this winter season, or any other for that matter.

First things first, if you see a van, with one of these in the back window use precaution:

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This is what I will refer to as the “tramp stamp of the Soccer mom”. It identifies the worn out woman, This mom is most likely so caught up in worrying about shopping, the kids screaming in the back, the fact that she hasn’t put new tires on her van in amost two years and now it’s snowing. She’s thinking and worrying about these things, and when she comes back to reality and actually seeing what’s outside her  vehicle, it’s about the same time that she locks her brakes and skids to a stop, perfectly imbedded in the hatch of your Speed3.

Secondly, there are always those trucks on the road, you know the ones that have six inches of lift and 35 mudders under them for no obvious reason (except perhaps compensation).

These guys think they know how to drive, they have a truck, 4 wheel drive makes you stop faster right?! Wrong. These guys will be going above and beyond the speed limit in the middle of a blizzard, and while your miata might have fit underneath it without getting so much as a scratch, your MazdaSpeed 6 will not walk away undamaged when he side swipes you going 65 down the freeway.

Another fair weather driver that will brave the winter iced roads is Grandma.

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It may not be your Grammy, but it’s someone’s, who has deemed it necessary for her ‘driving on the speedlimit backing up traffic for miles’ skillset something you’ll experience this season. On the offhand chance she is actually driving the speed limit on her way to drop off muffins to the local pastor, it is likely that even something small could spook her not so tuned in reaction skills, thus sending her and her wonderfully non-compact cadillac in a spin off that, of course, inevitably lands istelf against the side of your Mazda3.

Last but not least I will warn you about the most feared driver there is (at least in my understanding of the world), the Teenage Girl.

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As if it wasn’t already ridiculous the lack of natural skills for driving that a teenage female has, THEN SOMEONE ADDED CELL PHONES! Good luck with that, I would say avoid this driver during winter, but I would be lying if I said that was the only time to avoid her. If you look over and see a cute girl driving an adorable little car that daddy obviously had to have bought her, or a beat up car that no one would care got totaled,drive away, quickly. Wave at her of course, perhaps even hit the gas a little bit harder than normal  to be impressive (if you feel it’s necessary), but if you have any sense of worth or value of your Mazda, drive away, drive away quickly.

Hoping for your safety and enjoyment this holiday season Car Guy, until next time!

– Kim

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