Dear Car Guy: Things Only Car Guys Say

Dear Car Guy,

I was having a conversation the other day with some “Non-Car Guys” (NCGs) and a thought crossed my mind… that of course made me laugh out loud… because YES, I find myself hilarious.

I thought, “There are things Car Guys say that would be totally inappropriate for anyone else.”

Any Car Guy knows what I’m talking about. You probably come across a new one every time you talk to a NCG, but here are my top 8 things that could be misunderstood by the rest of the world, when a Car Guy says them:

1. When a Car Guy says he “needs meth”… it means something really different from the Breaking Bad kind.

Car Meth

2. When a Car Guy says, “I put my girl on a diet…” or “I’m cutting her weight down”… he’s not talking about his wife or girlfriend.

Weigh Station Problems

3. When a Car Guy says, “I need bigger rubbers…” He’s not ALWAYS referring to his manhood.

Car Guy Rubbers

4. When a Car Guy says, “I like the weight of my knob…” Again, he is (most likely) not referring to his manhood.

Mazda weighted shift knob

5. When a Car Guy says, “I’m rich…” He’s definitely not talking about his bank account—because we all know he’s spent his money on car parts.

Spent too much on Mazda parts

6. When a Car Guy says, “I gutted my cats…” It is safe to assume that he’s not a maniac or animal abuser… but just in case: downpipe.

Loud Down Pipe

7. When a Car Guy says, “I’ve been running lean…” He is most likely, not referring to his workout regimen.

Car Parts Diet

8. The trickiest one of all… when a Car Guy says, “He’s putting a straight pipe in her…” it is likely he could be referring to BOTH his car and his lady.

Putting in That Straight Pipe

Until next time Car Guy, stay safe, stay fast, stay happy…

Kim Russell-01


Kim the Blogger

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